Saturday, July 19, 2003 @ 12:22am | Entry no.264 | ha... angry nerd rock... how cute ||   mood    sick   || ||   music    "angry nerd rock" _ the ataris   || Oy, the room's spinning. I'm going to the doctors early next week to confirm my suspicions that my bronchitis did indeed return. Lovely. Just abso-fucking-lutely lovely. I though maybe it was just a tickle in my throat that would clear up... but today... today was just peachy keen. When I wasn't coughing nonstop, I was trying desperately to catch my breath. And in the next few days, I won't have enough strength to do much of anything, not even get up out of bed without using the wall for support. I have so much to look forward to. I had expected to be laid up this past week, but thankfully, something happened, and I got to skip over that whole mess... and now... slowly but surely, I'm being creeped up upon. Damn you, little germies! I will beat this. I just really hate being sick all the time. But I guess I shouldn't be complaining, some other people I know have it so much worse. Ah, I'll shut up now. Mummy dearest sent funds over, and left another voicemail on my cell phone. She really wants me to go to a doctors to see why I keep getting sick all the time. But seriously, with my family's history of getting diagnosed with scary things, I'm terrified of what the doctor may tell me. I mean, I realize that I'm a bit of a hypochondriac.... but it's not as though my illnesses are completely imaginary. Bleech. She got my baby to say a goodbye to me on the phone. Gosh, I miss him so much! He talks.. and walks... and is still a little ball of energy. ((sighs)) Damn, I had an interesting dream that I wanted to record because I thought it wasn't too odd, and would have developed into an interesting storyline,... and of course as soon as I woke up, Ummi was there with her kitten, Turbo, and I got distracted and now I don't recall anything about the dream except it was interesting. And for once it wasn't one of those horror / erotic dreams, with a good bit subtext that my subconcious throws in. And I just had to forget it. Anyways, I'm probably going to go pass out now <33 toodles note Many apologies, Derek, ceadsearc, for not being commenting, but I just want to let you know that I am reading your posts.... just since I'm feeling rather icky, I'm not commenting about them. I am thinking about you though. ((hugs)) ( 1 ) deep dark secret revealed  unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )

Saturday, July 19, 2003 @ 12:23am | Entry no.265 | damn double post. ||   mood    sick   || ||   music    "angry nerd rock" _ the ataris   || bugger... a double posting... great. Well, I'll fill this entry in with something later on. edit I hate to to do this... but I've got nothing to say, right now, so I might as well throw a survey in here that I keep around for emergencies. ( survey time ) unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )

Saturday, July 19, 2003 @ 02:13am | Entry no.266 | stupid ex's... why won't you just DIE!?! ||   mood    angry   || ||   music    "no sleep" _ toybox   || So, Brian decided to IM me. Some background info on this whole conversation is about. On Thursday, he calls me up and leaves a voicemail, asking me if I wanted to hang out that night and to give him a call. Now, I've been sick, I've been losing my voice off and on for the past few days... and how the heck is a person going to do that? Call a person up and see if they want to hang out in a half an hour or so? And especially if a few days earlier, they were rude as fuck to me and my current relationship. I decided to just ignore the call. Now it's a day later.. and he IMs me... DELETED (1:35:55 AM): thanks for callin me back whoISchipRjones (1:36:21 AM): I don't have a voice DELETED (1:36:30 AM): and? whoISchipRjones (1:36:33 AM): how am I expected to call? DELETED (1:36:35 AM): what does that mean to me? whoISchipRjones (1:36:36 AM): If I can't talk? DELETED (1:36:45 AM): im sure u can mumble something DELETED (1:36:48 AM): or text me DELETED signed off at 1:37:14 AM. I was just a bit incensed at this whole exchange.. so I text messaged him..."dear Brian... you're a fucking asshole.... I hope you drop dead.... love, Nancy. I haven't gotten a reply yet. And it's been about 20 minutes or so. I really wanted to argue with him, because I have a lot of things built up about the crap he's been pulling. Blah. Gosh, I'm so pissed right now. I really wish he'd just answer already. ((sighs)) leaving now... there are better things to do than write about useless stuff that'll only get me more pissed off. <33 toodles unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )

Saturday, July 19, 2003 @ 04:32pm | Entry no.267 | "honey, honey, peekaboo, I love you" ||   mood    sick   || ||   music    "earth, wind, water and fire" _ toybox   || Note to self: It is not particularly wise to walk around the house when there are a bunch of guys with only a thin shirt on and no bra when the air conditioner is on full blast. I will never get used to the fact that there are always people at my house who don't belong there. Oh well. I need to clean up my room. It keeps getting messier and messier... and I've spent the last two nights flipping out at my brother. After we had this whole place fumigated last year, and it had been all clean and everything... he moves back and winds up being a dirty little boy and leaving food and everything else around. And now there are buggies. ((shudders)) Yuck. I feel like moving to my grandparents house. At least that'll be clean. Blah... I'm going to go clean really quick. Alright, I cleaned. Anyways, I was just on the phone with Kare, and I got bitched out. Gosh, you've got to love best friends. She's such a funny character too, because while I was getting yelled at, I was just laughing at everything she was saying. She's also having me call her at 1am when she's out on a date, just to make her seem important to Brandon. I swear, she plays so many games with guys, but I shouldn't be surprised, because heck, we are best friends for a reason. Oops, I just admitted that I play games with guys, oh well. It's not like guys don't do the same thing, and if they don't realize that they're being fxcked with... then their fault. But, at least, I'll admit it, if they ever have the brains to ask. Ugh, let's just hope I have enough energy to call her up them. I'll probably be passed out in my sweetie's arms by then. Well, either that or I'd be hacking up a lung, and insisting that I need to go home and sleep in my own bed. Oh, I mentioned something to my Dolly; now she knows me pretty well, and she knows that I'm terrified of being tied down to any one person, and I told her what my sweetie said to me, which was something along the lines of:The Bahamas was so beautiful, and I kept seeing all these couples together, and all I kept thinking was how I wanted you to be here. I wanted someone to be with me who I love. Next year.. we'll go together. Just a few statements in there that stopped my heart. The L word? Next year? Run, Nancy! Run!!! And don't look back! I told Kare that, and she knew exactly what I was thinking, "He better quit with that next year shit Haha.. my best friend turned all ghetto, but he should. Scary. Anyways. I need to grab a shower now, so <33 toodles. unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )